Lost Connections by Hari Johnson

Depression and anxiety are growing problems in the West. The model of depression as a chemical imbalance in the brain is breaking down, and antidepressants are ineffective. (I’m not suggesting you should stop taking antidepressants. Even if they are not working out for you, discuss it with your physician first.) Where do we turn to find relief?

 Johann Hari considers this problem in his book Lost Connections. Hari was a long-time sufferer of depression and taker of ever-increasing doses of antidepressants. He was happy with the model that depression was a chemical imbalance that was beyond his control and a pill could fix it. The problem was that a pill didn’t fix it; he was still depressed.

 First, it isn’t all in your head—or even in your chemistry. Though there is a physiological, and even hereditary, aspect to depression that can make some more susceptible, depression is triggered by our experience and social environments. Depression is a symptom of problems in your life. To Hari, depression is essentially a social disease and it requires social treatments.

 Though Hari does not claim to have completely uncovered the causes of depression, he outlines several that are supported by research. He describes them all as types of disconnection.

 For example, many are disconnected from meaningful work. They have no sense of control over their work. There is no connection between effort and reward, and the work can be humiliating drudgery. In addition, work has become much less secure; many have no idea if they’ll have work next week or even tomorrow.

 Related to this is disconnection from status. Research of primates suggests that depression is an expression of low status intended to protect apes from the abuse of their neighbors. In highly stratified cultures, like the United States, stress is higher than in cultures with more status equality. Low status people are under constant stress, and high status people experience extreme stress when their status is challenged.

 Most of all, we are disconnected from other people. We are less likely than ever to belong to a church, club, civic group, professional organization, sports league or similar structure of getting together with other face-to-face, bonding over common interests and building relationships. Neighborhoods are no longer communities; they’re just clusters of homes.

 Though it is more challenging than taking a pill, the solution to depression is to reconnect in those areas where we have become disconnected. It is especially important to reconnect to other people. If you want to feel better, do something to make someone else’s life better.

 The difficulty is that it is hard to get better on your own. Fortunately, if you’re willing to take a step, there are things you can do. On the bigger scale, we need cultural reform that supports personal relationships, meaningful values, meaningful work, empathy, hope and time in natural settings. There is no money to be made in prescribing a community garden, a book club or a job where one is treated with respect, so the money will probably continue to pour into drugs (whether they work or not), until we demand—and start to create for ourselves—something better.

 If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

The Beethoven Factor by Paul Pearsall

Change Your Brain Change Your Body by Daniel G. Amen

The Last Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need by Paul Pearsall

The Relaxation Response by Herbert Benson with Miriam Z. Klipper

Switch on Your Brain by Caroline Leaf

Suggestible You by Erik Vance

Timeless Healing by Herbert Benson with Marg Stark

Vital Friends by Tom Rath

 Hari, Johan. Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression—and the Unexpected Solutions. New York: Bloomsbury, 2018.

The Introvert's Way by Sophia Dembling

Introverts are coming out of their shells, but in their own way. This isn’t to say they are becoming more introverted. Instead they are demand that the traits they bring are valued. We are not simply “not extroverted.”

Blogger Sophia Dembling is part of this wave of outspoken introverts. She writes about living as an introvert in a culture that values extroversion, and how to become more comfortable with it, in The Introvert’s Way.

Personality is a complex subject. Introversion is one of five personality traits that seem to remain consistent over a person’s lifetime.

Actually, extroversion is the trait that is measured. A typical test defines introversion as a lack of extroversion. Dembling calls this into question. She sees introversion as a way of interacting with external and internal stimulus that is different from extroversion. It is not better or worse and it certainly is not an absence of a personality trait.

Dembling is not shy about taking on extroversion bias in psychology and research. For instance, she wrote about research that showed extroverts to be happier. Even introverts who acted extroverted seemed happier. She found that psychologists have a three pronged definition of happiness, but the researchers used only one. The signs of happiness in this prong are practically synonymous with traits of extroversion. No wonder extroverts seemed happier. Introverts are often happy in their own way.

Much of the book is a discussion of the introverted experience. It can be tough to be introverted in a culture that values extroversion (not all do). How do you deal with well-meaning friends who try to get you to have fun when you’re already perfectly contented? How do you manage your energy, especially when things that get others psyched leave you drained?

Dembling offers advice on these issues. Her core advice is to accept your introversion. You are different and that is fine. You can create a space for you to be you. You can teach you friends to respect who you are just as you have respected their extroversion.

Introverts who begin to embrace who they are can seem like angry turtles at first. However, we are not inclined to disturb our peace with resentment; we move on to living a life we like with a little gentle forcefulness.

I previously wrote about this book in another post.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

The Highly Sensitive Person by Elaine N. Aron

The Irresistible Introvert by Michaela Chung

Quiet by Susan Cain

Dembling, Sophia. The Introvert’s Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World. New York: Perigee, 2012.

Loving in Flow by Susan K. Perry

The concept of flow has become popular over the last couple of decades. According to social psychologist Susan K. Perry, couples can experience flow in their relationships. She describes how in Loving in Flow.

Couples who experience flow are engaged, often in everyday things. The take pleasure in their relationship and want to keep it going. The lose self-consciousness and develop a sense of “us.”

Flow is not a state you can stay in all of the time. You can learn to fall into flow more easily and stay in it longer. Ordinary couples with ordinary problems can experience more flow.

Perry covers a log of ground in this book. She gives advice dealing with conflict, better communication, a happier sex life, protecting your relationship from an affair and other potential areas of problems or improvements.

Along the way she shares stories of her own marriage and of couples she interviewed. She and her husband overcame things that have broken other marriages and moved on to something much better. You might find something to connect to, even hope, in the experiences of these couples.

Because she covers a lot of ground, I sometime lost the thread of flow. Attention seems to be an important aspect of flow working in a relationship. By focusing on you connection to you partner and the value of your relationship, you can keep other things in perspective. You can see what is going on around you and inside of you that may be a trigger for arguments. You attention to and care for your partner’s feelings will make you more empathetic. Focus on your partner can intensify connection during moments of intimacy, such as when you’re having sex. You magnify what you attend to, so give attention to what is best in your partner and the life you share to enjoy it and to fall in love again and again.

Perry provides a lot of practical advice. Readers will likely find several things they can do. The may also find encouragement in the tales of couples that overcame obstacles and gained a source of great satisfaction.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs

Perry, Susan K. Loving in Flow: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay that Way. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks Casablanca, 2003.

Choosing Civility by P. M. Forni

In a previous job, I worked in the field of industrial safety.  This is partly a matter of regulation, so there was often great concern about the rules. Though it was necessary to follow the rules, I also wanted to people to think. If they were going to be safe in reality, they needed to be aware, use their imagination, solve problems and ask for help.

I found a parallel to this in P. M. Forni’s approach to civility. As he put it in Choosing Civility, “Consideration is imagination in a moral track.”

In the early chapters Forni considers the notion of civility and how it relates to courtesy, politeness and manners. He wrote, “Being civil means being constantly aware of others and weaving restraint, respect and consideration into the fabric of this awareness. Civility is a form of goodness; it is gracious goodness.” Civility is the art of living well with others.

The second part of the book includes brief chapters on the rules of civility. In some cases, Forni prescribes some behavior, but in mostly this is an exploration of how awareness, respect and consideration of others can practiced in various ways.

I think a few of these worth highlighting. The first of Forni’s rules is to be attentive. Your attention is one of the most important and valuable things you can give to someone. Paying attention to others is the starting point of showing respect and acting in kindness.

Related to attention is listening. Careful listening is a skill. When practiced well, it can build understanding and rapport between people. It requires focus, generosity, responsiveness, restraint and cooperation.

I think Forni’s admonition to avoid complaining is especially worthy. We have legitimate concerns that we should speak up about, but often complaints are just a way to drag people into a negative outlook or some minor problem that is not theirs.

“’Nice’ is something that must be built, something that doesn’t simply happen or come to us out of the blue but instead requires work," P. M. Forni, Choosing Civility

P. M. Forni also wrote The Thinking Life.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen

The Power of Nice by Linda Kaplan Thaler & Robin Koval

The Last Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need by Paul Pearsall

The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck

Forni, P. M. Choosing Civility: The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 2002.

The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck

Spiritual growth is the heart of mental health as described by psychiatrist M. Scott Peck in his book The Road Less Traveled. The path of growth Peck describes is not often taken because it involves pain, discipline and stretching. The rewards of this life are great, but they are obtained through effort.

People forgo growth, and sometime develop mental problems, because they refuse to accept a difficult fact: life is hard. Unfortunately, they often put themselves through a lot of extra pain for a longer period than they might have suffered if they would accept and deal with challenges in the first place.

Later in the book, Peck characterizes this as a kind of laziness. It is refusal to extend oneself and put effort into mastering life. The extension of oneself for the purpose of spiritual growth (your own or another’s) is the essence of love in Peck’s view. Laziness is the opposite of love.

Love is one of the main elements of spiritual growth. This love is not primarily emotion. It is commitment. It is respect for others and the distinction of others as unique individuals. It it is the effort one puts into growing and helping others to grow.

Emotions are important. They are fuel for action. To be effective in supporting growth, emotions must be disciplined.

“Passion is feeling of great depth. The fact that a feeling is uncontrolled is no indication that it is in any way deeper than a feeling that is disciplined.” M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled

Discipline is another major practice for growth. Discipline is not beating up on yourself. It is accepting responsibility for your life and dealing with reality. It is the practice of giving up things for the purpose of taking hold of more valuable things. Proper discipline is not rigid but it helps us to be flexible and enlarge ourselves.

Love and discipline work together. As Peck frames it, successful psychotherapy occurs when a patient is ready to discipline himself and a therapist can create a relationship of love that supports that discipline.

This is just the beginning of growth. In the latter chapter of the book, Peck shifts to other elements, particularly religion. For Peck, religion is your conception is your conception of how the world works. Even a scientific worldview is a religion.

Religion is also where we can grapple with mystery, especially the mystery of grace, which is important to growth. Peck sees grace in many areas, such as serendipity and the strange knowingness of our unconscious minds.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

Get Smart! by Brian Tracy

The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida

Peck, M. Scott. The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth. New York: Touchstone, 1978.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot

HeLa is an immortal human cell line. It is immortal in the sense that the cells will live and grow in culture indefinitely. Since it was first cultured in 1951, the cell line has been an important part of medical research. It was used to develop vaccines for polio and HPV (Human Papilloma Virus). It has been used to study cancer, HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus), other diseases and drugs to treat them. HeLa cells have made medical science as we know it possible.

These cells came from a real person. Her name was Henrietta Lacks. She was a poor, black woman who went to Johns Hopkins Hospital for treatment of what turned out to be cancer. The cells were taken from a tumor by a doctor who was treating her.

Cancer took the life of Henrietta Lacks, but her immortality in the form of the cell line has caused a lot of pain and distress for her descendants. Rebecca Skloot tells the story of Henrietta, her family, the HeLa cells and their legacy in The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks.

It is a bit unusual in a book of biography or scientific history to write in the first person, but is the approach taken by Skloot. In order to emphasize the humanity of Henrietta, she tells a personal story of her research and the relationship she develops with the Lacks family, especially Henrietta’s daughter, Deborah.

This is important. It’s easy to get swept up in all the incredible results that have been produced from developing and testing with the HeLa cell line. It is harder to look at the individual lives on people, especially when those people are treated with little respect by the scientists and physicians who are benefiting from the cells taken from her mother.

These men saw little if anything wrong in what they did by taking the cells and growing them. They were doing what was legal at the time (and still legal) and in keeping with the ethical standards of the time. There is still much debate over the ethics of using human tissues in research. Though there are standards related to samples taken from humans, the only legally binding ones relate to federally-funded research. Issues of informed consent, ownership, and commercialization are still being worked out. If you’re a corpse, the law is fairly clear. If you’re a participant in a research study, legal and ethical standards assure some level of informed consent. If tissues are taken from a living patient for purposes of diagnosis or treatment, what can happen to those tissues is up for grabs.

I think this is a book worth reading. HeLa is an interesting scientific story. The ethical issues related to research using human tissues deserves more attention that it gets. I think the most important thing to remember is that the things we do affect human beings. Science, law and philosophy can become so abstract they are nearly pointless if we lose sight of how the things we say and do, individually and as a society, affect the lives of real people.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested it

Better for All the World by Harry Bruinius

War Against the Weak by Edwin Black

Skloot, Rebecca. The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. New York: Crown, 2010.

You are a Badass by Jen Sincero

Jen Sincero believes you can live the life you really want. She writes about how in You are a Badass.

Much of what you’ll find in Sincero’s book can be found on other self-help works. Sincero admits as much. Her tone, which is often humorous, is skeptical of the religious-tinged “woo-woo” stuff you’ll find in much of the self-help ouvre. Even so, she desparately wanted to change her life and was willing to try things that seemed silly to her. She wanted in badly enough to spend hard-earned money on books, seminars and workshops at which you whack pillows with bats. It worked.

The basic principle is the law of attraction. Your thoughts attract or create from the stuff of the universe by some means the life you have. If you want a better life, you need to change your thinking so that you are clear about what you want, have a willingness for action and keep a positive mindset. This concept has been around for a long time, though it was popularized anew a few years ago by the widely popular book (and related media) The Secret.

Sincero branches off in many directions from this central idea. Each chapter presents a related idea and tools for implementing them.

The good life starts with a decision. Decide what you want and that you’re willing to do what it takes to achieve it.

She encourages readers to love themselves. Appreciate that you are a unique person with a special place in this world and treat yourself with some respect.

She says people should do what they love. You only live so long and it is important that you enjoy life. In addition, don’t get hung up on a single purpose for your whole life. As you grow and you circumstances change, your purpose will change as well.

Your relationships with other are important, too. Surround yourself with people you want to be like. On the other hand, don’t compare yourself to others; it is a recipe for disappointment. Forgive others and yourself so your past doesn’t drag you down.

Even though it can be corny, do some of that old-fashioned self-helpy stuff. Use affirmations. Visualize your ideal life. Make a vision board.

What set’s Sincero apart from others is her tone and humor. She presents herself as a person who is not interested in mysticism. She’s interested in making a better life and she is concentrating on what works. If it works, she doesn’t care if it’s advocates are a little freaky. She sprinkles her book liberally with humor and spices it with a little foul language.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

Acres of Diamonds by Russel H. Conwell

How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life by Alan Lakein

Make Miracles in Forty Days by Melody Beattie

Positive Imaging by Norman Vincent Peale

The Secret by Rhonda Byrne

The Secret of the Ages by Robert Collier

Secrets of the Millionaire Mind by T. Harv Eker

The Success Principles by Jack Canfield with Janet Switzer

Write It Down, Make It Happen by Henriette Anne Klaus

You Can if You Think You Can by Norman Vincent Peale

Sincero, Jen. You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life. Philadelphia: Running Press, 2013.

Ada's Algorithm by James Essinger

Ada Lovelace, daughter of poet Lord Byron, is arguably one of the first computer scientists in history. She wrote what some considered the first computer program about a century before any computer was built, especially anything we would recognize as computer. James Essinger presents a summary of her life, and particularly a defense of her accomplishments, in Ada’s Algorithm.

In any discussion relating to the Byrons, it’s easy to get distracted by Lovelace’s father. In addition to being a famous poet, he lived a high life (often on the money of others) and had many lovers. Lady Byron, who separated from Byron and preserved her family wealth from his extravagances, made sure their only daughter had minimal contact with him. Lovelace had an education in math and science very unlike other women of her time because Lady Byron hoped it might counterbalance any of the excesses the girl may have inherited from the wild Byrons.

Lovelace took to math quite well. In a later age, she might have become a professional mathematician. In her own 1800s, her tutors sometimes complained that she reached too far for a woman, and strove to grasp at realms of math that only men had the stamina to explore. Fortunately her mother, and later her husband, William, Lord King, Baron of Ockham (later elevated to Earl of Lovelace), did not let such foolishness restrain her mathematical education.

She was still quite young, only 17, when she met the much older Charles Babbage, inventor of the partly build Difference Engine and never built Analytical Engine. The Analytical Engine was a calculating machine that could be programmed using punch cards. Though it was a mechanical device, not an electronic computer, Babbage’s structure (processor, memory, input and output) is the same structure of modern computers. Not only did Babbage conceive of computers a century before one was built, he drew plans for substantially completing such a machine, though the manufacturing technology of the time could not have made the parts required.

Lovelace was a friend of Babbage for many years. In 1843, about 10 years after they met, Lovelace published a paper explaining the operation and capabilities of Babbage’s machine. She had an even larger vision of it than the inventor. He saw the Analytical Engine as a tool for performing complex calculations accurately. She saw that it could do more than mathematical calculations; it could manipulate any symbols in almost any way instructed, so it might “compose” music by manipulating notes according so some rules, or perform logical functions, or handle any other information that might be digitized. She foresaw that what we now call computer science would become a discipline distinct from math.

She thought the paper might be better received if it was unsigned, but at the encouragement of her husband she published it under her initials. It was quickly discovered that “A. A. L.” was a woman, and almost a quickly dismissed as irrelevant. It wasn’t until the 20^th Century, when people were actually building digital computers, that the work of Babbage and Lovelace received some respect. Though modern computers do not have a technological connection to the Analytical Engine that was never built, it certainly has a strong conceptual connection.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

A Little History of Science by William Bynum

How to Build and Android by David F. Dufty

Miss Leavitt's Stars by George Johnson

Essinger, James. Ada’s Algorithm: How Lord Byron’s Daughter Ada Lovelace Launched the Digital Age. 2013. Brooklyn: Melville House, 2014.

Complaint Free Relationships by Will Bowen

Complaint Free Relationships is a follow-up to Will Bowen’s previous book, A Complaint Free World. The fundamental premise of the first book carries over to the second. Our thoughts create our lives. Our words are indicators of our thoughts. When we become aware of complaining, and the negative thinking it represents, we can choose to think more positively and gain happier results.

Bowen notes that one of the most common things people complain about is relationships. He focuses on the “relate” in relationship. To a great extent our relationships are the stories we tell ourselves about other people. When we complain about someone, aloud or in our minds, we are telling ourselves a story about that person’s behaviors of features that we dislike, and usually ascribe to them negative motivations and traits.

In addition, Bowen says people can pick up the negativity of our internal stories and will generally respond in kind. If you expect the worst of people, you’ll usually get it, and they’ll have a negative view of you, too.

You can reverse this by telling yourself a different story. Have compassion. Don’t leap to conclusions about someone’s motives or personality. Tell yourself a story that is compassionate, understanding, and positive. People will sense this as well, and will respond positively.

Of course, we can’t always change are minds with the snap of a finger. In some cases we must deal with truly difficult people. Sometime we are troubled by ingrained problems of our own.

Bowen offers advice for dealing with these tougher cases. We can understand our own, or others, motivations to complain and deal with them. We can take responsibility to see that our needs are met instead of complaining about our frustrations. Instead of venting our anger (it only makes us angrier), we can undertake to process our emotions. Many of these techniques can be adapted to improving the relationship we have without ourselves, which affects all our relationships.

Complaining is particularly damaging to relationships. Research sited by Bowen demonstrates that complaining is a major cause of the failure of relationships. You don’t have to live with bad relationships or watch them fall apart. If you’re willing to change your perspective and take on the challenges of personal growth, you can see you relationships improve, and even become sources of fun and joy.

Will Bowen also wrote A Complaint Free World. If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs

Mindset by Carol S. Dweck

The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale

The Solution by Lucinda Bassett

Stop Whining, Start Living by Dr. Laura

Bowen, Will. Complaint Free Relationships: How to Positively Transform Your Personal, and Love Relationships. New York: Doubleday, 2009.

Ezra

Ezra was a priest who lived in the 5^th Century B.C. Tradition recognizes him as the author of First and Second Chronicles, his titular book, and Nehemiah. In the Hebrew Bible, Ezra-Nehemiah is a single book.

The book of Ezra is a brief history of the return of the Jewish people from exile and captivity to the land that the Israelite nation had once been ruled. The focus is on the Jerusalem, especially the rebuilding of the temple.

The return began under the reign of the Persian king Cyrus. Ezra covers the period into the reign of Artaxerxes. The work of rebuilding the temple and the city took decades, and it was delayed by opposition, though a reiteration of Cyrus’ command by his successor Darius got the work moving again. Ezra copies the orders and correspondence of these kings.

There is a shift to the first person in the final chapters, when Ezra himself arrives in Jerusalem. He came to work at the temple and reestablish the religious practices of the Jewish people.

To me, the book is not about the restoration of the Israelite nation. It is about the return of a people to the God who called them. Ezra called people to abandon the idolatrous practices they picked up in their exile or from the people living around them and to return to the worship of God and respect for His law. Ezra’s interest is a religious revival.

Ezra is credited with writing

First Chronicles

Second Chronicles

Ezra. The Holy Bible. New King James Version. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1982.

Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together by Bryan Lee O'Malley

Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together is the fourth volume of a six-volume work by Bryan Lee O’Malley. In reviewing other volumes of the series, I’ve mentioned that the story is a pilgrimage. In this volume, things start moving.

Nothing signals a figurative move like an actual move. Scott’s friend and bandmate, Kim, moves from her apartment into a house with some friends. One of these friends has sound editing equipment, so Scott’s band, Sex Bob-omb, moves from playing clubs to recording an album. Eventually, Scott is forced to move because the lease is up on the apartment he shares with Wallace.

The important moves in the series, though, are Scott’s stumbling from an extended adolescence toward adulthood. His internal challenges are represented by external challenges. In order to have a place to go when he leaves the apartment he shares with Wallace, he proposes to move in with Ramona. One can imagine how disastrous this might be in the state of their relationship at the start of the book; Scott must make an emotional move to Ramona and responsibility first.

This emotional move is achieved in several stages. Scott practices self-control by resisting the temptation for an easy, breezy summer fling with a woman he knew from school who has a crush on him. He takes on responsibility by getting his first job as a dishwasher at age 23.

His other conflicts are represented or resolved in combat. It wouldn’t be Scott Pilgrim without cool fight scenes. His relationship with Ramona is haunted by his not actually broken off relationship with Knives. Knives’ vengeful father hunts down and attacks Scott. In addition, another of Ramona’s evil exes arrives. It’s neat that he survives combat with Mr. Chau and defeats Roxie. The powerful actions he takes are to confess his love to Ramona, accept the baggage of her past, and treat Mr. Chau (an through him Knive’s) with respect.

Self-control, responsibility, love, acceptance, and respect are a decent set of virtues for a young man to practice. Scott is not perfect, but his journey isn’t to perfection, it’s to maturity.

Bryan Lee O’Malley also wrote

Scott Pilgrim and the Infinite Sadness

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Scott Pilgrim’s Precious Little Life 

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

Maus by Art Spiegelman 

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (Film)

Superman versus the Ku Klux Klan by Rick Bowers

O’Malley, Bryan Lee. Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together. Portland, OR: Oni Press, 2007.

Top 20 Books So Far

I recently posted the review for the 300^th book on this blog. Here is a list of the top 20 books reviewed.

1. Epistles

2. The Gospels
3. Acts

4. First Samuel

5. The Pentateuch

6. Joshua

7. Ruth

8. Revelation

9. First Kings

10. First Chronicles

11. King James Bible
12. The Abolition of Man by C. S. Lewis
13. The Road to Serfdom by F. A. Hayek
14. The Great Divorce by C. S. Lewis
15. Maus by Art Spiegelman
16. Into the Depths of God by Calvin Miller
17. War Against the Weak by Edwin Black
18. Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs 

19. The Moon is a Harsh Mistress by Robert Heinlein

20. The Genius in All of Us by David Shenk

Rapt by Winifred Gallagher

Our brains can’t process all the stimuli to which we are exposed.  It selects to be more strongly aware of some stimuli that seem important and to suppresses awareness of others. It is like a spotlight that illuminates every detail of an actor and the scenery immediately next to him, but leaves the rest of the stage in twilight or even completed darkness. This process is attention.

Our experience of life is what we pay attention to. This is the thesis of Winifred Gallagher’s book Rapt. We may not always be happy, be can nearly always be focused and choose to pay attention to what brings us peace, joy, and a sense of meaning in the moment.

We have two types of attention. Gallagher calls the first “bottom up” attention. This is the our instinctive attention to things in our environment that are novel, potentially dangerous, or a potential opportunity.

Top down attention is intentional focus on what we choose. Our intentional focus can be very powerful, drilling into our target while leaving us unaware of things that might otherwise seem obvious. Gallagher recounts a humorous experiment in which subjects were asked to watch for a certain activity on a video. The subjects completely missed a man in a gorilla suit dancing around in the video because their top down attention was so intensely trained on the task they were instructed to pursue.

In the same manner that attention raises or lowers awareness of physical stimuli, it adjusts awareness of our own thoughts and feelings. Bottom up attention tends to focus on the most and least pleasant feelings, our highs and lows. Our top down attention can focus on any thought of feeling we want.

In turn, our thoughts and feelings affect our attention. When we are negative, our focus narrows to take in just a little. Feeling bad make our problem seem like the only thing in the world. Positive thoughts and feeling expands our attention, allowing us to take in more information. It switches us to mental broadband that allows us to be aware of more of our world both inside and out.

Attention is important to every aspect of life. Relationships are inherently paying attention to others. Intimacy in relationships is built on building common, positive experiences from paying attention to the same thing and to each other. Success requires intense, long-term attention to our goals. Fulfillment arises from taking on just-manageable challenges that hold our attention. Creativity involves a calm mindfulness that does not so much capture an idea as allow it to unfold in our awareness. Motivation comes from sorting out the competing voices in our mind and listening to the ones that advocate for our goals.

Our attentional style is shaped both by our genes and our culture. A significant part of what and how we pay attention is learned. Because of this, we can learn new ways of attending and direct our focus in new directions. If we learn to pay attention to positive emotions and opportunities for positive action, we can change our experience of life to have more peace, joy, and fulfillment.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

Change Your Brain Change Your Body by Daniel G. Amen

The Genius in All of Us by David Shenk

Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs

The Mindful Way through Depression by Mark Williams et al

Moonwalking with Einstein by Joshua Foer

The Procrastination Equation by Piers Steel

Quiet by Susan Cain

Succeed by Heidi Grant Halvorson

The Thinking Life by P. M. Forni

Gallagher, Winifred. Rapt: Attention and the Focused Life. New York: Penguin, 2009.

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