Choosing Civility by P. M. Forni

In a previous job, I worked in the field of industrial safety.  This is partly a matter of regulation, so there was often great concern about the rules. Though it was necessary to follow the rules, I also wanted to people to think. If they were going to be safe in reality, they needed to be aware, use their imagination, solve problems and ask for help.

I found a parallel to this in P. M. Forni’s approach to civility. As he put it in Choosing Civility, “Consideration is imagination in a moral track.”

In the early chapters Forni considers the notion of civility and how it relates to courtesy, politeness and manners. He wrote, “Being civil means being constantly aware of others and weaving restraint, respect and consideration into the fabric of this awareness. Civility is a form of goodness; it is gracious goodness.” Civility is the art of living well with others.

The second part of the book includes brief chapters on the rules of civility. In some cases, Forni prescribes some behavior, but in mostly this is an exploration of how awareness, respect and consideration of others can practiced in various ways.

I think a few of these worth highlighting. The first of Forni’s rules is to be attentive. Your attention is one of the most important and valuable things you can give to someone. Paying attention to others is the starting point of showing respect and acting in kindness.

Related to attention is listening. Careful listening is a skill. When practiced well, it can build understanding and rapport between people. It requires focus, generosity, responsiveness, restraint and cooperation.

I think Forni’s admonition to avoid complaining is especially worthy. We have legitimate concerns that we should speak up about, but often complaints are just a way to drag people into a negative outlook or some minor problem that is not theirs.

“’Nice’ is something that must be built, something that doesn’t simply happen or come to us out of the blue but instead requires work," P. M. Forni, Choosing Civility

P. M. Forni also wrote The Thinking Life.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen

The Power of Nice by Linda Kaplan Thaler & Robin Koval

The Last Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need by Paul Pearsall

The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck

Forni, P. M. Choosing Civility: The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 2002.

Plotting and Writing Suspense Fiction by Patricia Highsmith

“It is impossible to explain how a successful—that is readable—book is written,” wrote Patricia Highsmith in Plotting and Writing Suspense Fiction. As an alternative, she offers her own thoughts and experiences from writing her novels. It is not a how-to book; it is reflections with less experienced writers in mind.

 Something that comes through is that writing is something of an organic process. Books grow from a seed of an idea to a full plant. The writer must tend its growth, sometimes pruning, to make it beautiful and fruitful. This isn’t a metaphor Highsmith uses, but she frequently mentions how she enjoys gardening, so it seems fitting.

 As this suggests, writing takes time and effort. Highsmith’s normal path involves two drafts and revisions requested by her editor or publisher. In some cases, she rewrote parts of a book more than that before it was finished. Even an experienced writer is unlikely to produce a finished book on the first draft. There will be things to correct, improve, fill in and cut. It is part of the work.

 “I create things out of boredom with reality and with the awareness of routine and objects around me. Therefore, I don’t dislike this boredom which encroaches on me every now and then, and I even troy to create it by routine,” Patricia Highsmith, Plotting and Writing Suspense Fiction

 One of the few specific recommendations Highsmith offers is for beginning writers to outline a book chapter by chapter. This will keep them focused on what will advance the story. It takes practice to learn to portion out the parts a book and discipline to make sure every part serves the story. These are skills a new writer may not have, but can develop.

 The book is short and easy to read. Fans of Highsmith’s novels might enjoy a peak behind the curtains. Aspiring writers might find some encouragement is seeing that the things they struggle with are part of the process of writing; they can be overcome with focus, persistence and humility.

 If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

The Big Thing by Phyllis Korkki

The DC Comics Guide to Writing Comics by Dennis O’Neil

Finding Your Writer’s Voice by Thaisa Frank & Dorothy Wall

Good Naked by Joni B. Cole

How to Write Horror Fiction by William F. Nolan

How to Write Mysteries by Shannon OCork

How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy by Orson Scott Card

Just Write by Walter Dean Myers

Mastering Fiction Writing by Kit Reed

No Plot? Not Problem! A Low Stress-High Velocity Guide to Writing a Novel in 30 Days by Chris Baty

Reading Like a Writer by Francine Prose

The Right to Write by Julia Cameron

Shut Up & Write! by Judy Bridges

Write Naked by Jennifer Probst

Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg

Writing for Comics with Peter David

 Highsmith, Patricia. Plotting and Writing Suspense Fiction. 1983. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 1990.