Vital Friends by Tom Rath

Rath, Tom. Vital Friends. New York: Gallup Press, 2006.

Do we need scientific research to tell us that friends make us more happy, healthy, engaged, and productive? Apparently we do, at least in the context of work.


Tom Rath describes the work he and his associates at The Gallup Organization have undertaken to study friendship and identify important friendship roles in his book Vital Friends. He uses the term vital friend to describe someone who significantly improves your life, who you wouldn’t want to live without, to distinguish him or her from less close friends or acquaintances.

Rath begins with a discussion of friendship in general. He describes the benefits of friendship to human health and happiness.

From there he moves into friendships at work, which is more the focus of the book. People who have a best friend at work enjoy many benefits in terms of their satisfaction with their employer, work, and compensation. Employers benefit from more engaged, safe, and productive employees.

Unfortunately, the traditional culture of many workplaces discourages friendship, both among peers as well as at different levels. Those businesses suffer the results of less engaged employees like lower productivity, quality and customer satisfaction (at the extreme, actively disengaged employees may sabotage their employers).

Part of Rath’s purpose is to help organizations turn this around and create opportunities for their employees to develop friendships with each other. A part of the book is devoted to these ideas.

A larger part of the book is useful to individuals who are looking to indentify vital friends, or friends who might become vital. Through their research, Gallup identified eight roles that friends play in our lives that correlate to our engagement at work and our overall sense of wellbeing. Each is described in some detail. Rath provides pointers on how to find people who may fill these roles for you, strengthen friendships with those who do, and how to be a better friend of this type if it is your inclination. He assumes that no friend can fulfill all these roles, and you and your friends will be more satisfied if you rely on them for their strengths and not try to fit them into another mold.

This aspect of the book is supported by on online tool in which you can answer questions about your friends and the way they relate to you. It’s designed to help you identify which friends play what roles in your life. It is meant to be a launching pad for discussions with your friends, both as a way to express you gratitude for the ways they help you and to help them be even better friends to you (you may find them responding in kind). I didn’t use this tool because the book was loaned to me. Even so, reading the chapters on the roles will give you ideas to make your own determinations of what friend are filling these roles in your life and who might fill the gaps.

The book wraps up with a description of the research that supports the ideas it presents. The research-oriented sections are in appendices; the main text has a much more casual style.

I started this review with a somewhat flippant question about needing science to tell us what we should already know about needing friends. The thing Vital Friends adds is a framework for identifying and discussing important friendships. You probably don’t want to over-intellectualize your friendships, but you may find it helpful to have some specific ideas and terms you can use as a springboard for your own thoughts and discussions with friends.

Tom Rath also co-wrote How Full Is Your Bucket?

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in
Henry Huggins by Beverly Cleary
Undaunted Courage by Stephen Ambrose