Sometimes it seems like we’re all sick and crazy. This may stem from a
focus on trying to find and fix what is wrong with us. Psychologist
Paul
Pearsall referred to this as a pathogenic focus. In his book The Beethoven Factor, he discusses
the field of positive
psychology, which focuses on what is right with people and what we can
learn from those who are well adjusted, happy and healthy. In
particular, Pearsall focuses on thriving.
Thriving is growth in the aftermath, and even in the midst of, stressful
situations. The people he discusses and learns from in his book, some patients
of his and many his fellow patients in a cancer ward,
often suffered greatly from disease, war, poverty and
other hardships. These people had there ups and downs, but they managed an
emotional upward trend.
The heart of thriving is a flexible explanatory style. We’re all
telling ourselves stories that interpret and evaluate our lives. People who
thrive are adaptive and creative in the stories they tell themselves, which
allows them to savor
and find meaning
in their lives even while suffering.
Thriving can be paradoxical,
especially from a pathogenic outlook: someone is becoming stronger in a
situation that is expected to make them weaker. Those who thrive can defy the
expectations the traditional view of healthy thinking. They work on themselves,
which can sometimes make them seem aloof or insensitive. They can be in denial,
but they use it to give themselves a temporary escape for pain and time to
think. They can be hard to like because of their intensity; when someone is
getting the most out of life, they may have little patience for interruptions,
naysayers and whiners. They are reflective, which can make them seem withdrawn.
They can be depressed, down on themselves and loose hope as they make their
journey. Thriving is a process of learning, so
it can take a long time, though sometimes someone will catch on quickly.
Pearsall offers a lot of advice on how to thrive, especially in the
second half of the book (the first half focuses on introducing positive
psychology and defining thriving). This section focuses on four aspects of
thriving: hardiness, happiness, healing and hope.
Hardiness comes from our beliefs. Hardy
people have beliefs that help them commit to engaging in living, finding a
sense of control—which
includes knowing when to let go of control—and seeing the difficulties they
face and challenges they can cope with if not overcome.
Happiness is rooted in flow. It is focus and engagement
in life. Happy people push aside distractions,
expectations
and striving for things that don’t really bring them joy.
Healing is fundamentally learning. We
all suffer to some extent in our lives, and these periods of sickness or other
hardship are telling us to slow down and pay attention.
Healing people learn to make sense of what happens (in their own ways), cope with it, and find meaning in their
experiences.
Hoping is what Pearsall calls “cautious optimism.”
People who hope find a way to hold onto their dreams, or come
up with new dreams, without expecting on depending on them. They imagine that
the world, imperfect as it is, may be the best possible world, so they get on
with seeking all they can enjoy in it.
Pearsall offers his readers a big dose of practical grace. If you’re
really finding your own way to cope with adversity in a way the truly engages
life as fully as you can, you’re on the path to thriving and it is okay that
you may not be the upbeat, outgoing, positive, realistic
person that your psychologists, physicians,
self-help
books and friends
think you should be. Living is learning, especially in times of sickness and
difficulty; learning is challenging, slow work that requires focus and imagination.
If you’re learning, you will struggle and be worn out sometimes. You’ll also be
engaged in life in a way that puts you in an uneven, but upward trend, instead
of spiraling downward in despair.
Paul Pearsall also wrote
If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in
Pearsall, Paul. The Beethoven
Factor: The New Positive Psychology of Hardiness, Happiness, Healing, and Hope. Charlottesville,
VA: Hampton
Roads, 2003.
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