It was big news back in 2006
to 2007
when a Kansas
City church challenged its members, and the eventually the world, to stop
complaining. The pastor, Will Bowen
who authored A Complaint Free World,
appeared on Oprah. The method was simple. Wear a
purple bracelet; every time you complain, switch the bracelet from one wrist to
the other. When you manage to go 21 days without speaking a complaint (it will
take months for most people), you form habits that reduce even your complaining
thoughts. A rubber band, a token you switch from pocket to pocket, or similar
reminder will do the trick.
Complaining is talking about what we don’t want instead of what we
want. This is important in Bowen’s view because our words are a reflection of our
thoughts and, as Earl Nightingale
put it, “We become what we think about.” Complaining creates in our lives more
of what we complain about. When we start thinking more about what we want,
we’ll get more of what we want.
Why do we complain? We do it to get sympathy, to avoid something we
don’t want to do, to demonstrate our sophistication, or even as a way of
bragging.
Bowen gives several reasons to quit complaining. One is health.
He cites a study that indicates complaining makes us sick; as much as
two-thirds of illness is psychological in origin. In addition, complaining
about others (criticism) is rarely works to change them; people respond to
appreciation. Even great social movements that started in deep dissatisfaction
moved forward by showing a positive vision of the world as it could be.
I visited the web site established for the movement, AComplaintFreeWorld.org. It
looks like they no longer give out free purple bracelets, but you can order
them or get a free widget.
The notion of becoming what you think is in line with Bowens faith.
This is a teaching of Unity,
a religion
founded in Kansas City. (Incidentally, I used to work in Lee’s Summit
a short distance from the organization’s headquarters in Unity Village.)
Though Unity expresses esteem for the Bible and Jesus Christ,
it’s teachings about the nature of God, the Bible,
Jesus, the notion of Christ, and the relationship of man and God is very
different from traditional Christianity.
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