The Power of Nice by Linda Kaplan Thaler & Robin Koval

Nice guys do not finish last. According to advertising executives Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval, authors of The Power of Nice, kindness, generosity, empathy pay off even in the business world.

Kindness is a great way to make a positive impression, and those impressions can come back multiplied. In addition, you never know when the one you’re showing kindness to someone who has the will and means to extravagantly repay you, though you shouldn’t go around with a fake generosity hoping some of your supposed goodness will bind a jinni to your service. Be good because it is good, but don’t be surprised when the little people you help along the way become big people who want to help you.

Niceness should become automatic, a way you treat people all the time, whoever they are. You’ll know when you’re being genuine and when you’re being fake, and let the knowledge lead you to be genuinely kind. Extend it to cover even your rivals; if you can’t convert them, you’ll neutralize them to some degree.

Even if you don’t have much to give, be a giver. Even little gestures, smiles, and a helpful hand count. One of the seemingly most simple, but in practice difficult, things to give is your attention. Few things move a person as much as the sense that someone genuinely listened to them; and it is a great way to learn.

The skill at the heart of all this is empathy. I use the word skill because Kaplan Thaler and Koval write about how people can improve their empathy. First, listen to the emotion words; people are telling you how they feel if you will listen. Consider how what you say and do will affect others. Finally, don’t assume the actions of others are about you; they have other stuff going on.

This is a short book and full of anecdotes. If you’re looking for a quick read touching on the emotional side of business with practical advice, this will suit your needs.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

Eat That Cookie! by Liz Jazwiec

It’s Not About Me by Max Lucado

The Velveteen Principles by Toni Raiten-D’Antonio

Why Good Things Happen to Good People by Stephen Post and Jill Neimark

Kaplan Thaler, Linda, & Robin Koval. The Power of Nice: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness. New York: Currency, 2006.

Gratitude may be defined simply as showing that one values the kindness of God

Gratitude may be defined simply as showing that one values the kindness of God.

-R. T. Kendall, Just Say Thanks!

Any business run by people who love..will have black figures...in its ledgers

I promise you that any business run by people who love their employees and love the people they serve, and who treat them with loving-kindness, will have black figures, not red ones, in its ledgers.

-Norman Vincent Peale, Positive Imaging

Choosing Civility by P. M. Forni

In a previous job, I worked in the field of industrial safety.  This is partly a matter of regulation, so there was often great concern about the rules. Though it was necessary to follow the rules, I also wanted to people to think. If they were going to be safe in reality, they needed to be aware, use their imagination, solve problems and ask for help.

I found a parallel to this in P. M. Forni’s approach to civility. As he put it in Choosing Civility, “Consideration is imagination in a moral track.”

In the early chapters Forni considers the notion of civility and how it relates to courtesy, politeness and manners. He wrote, “Being civil means being constantly aware of others and weaving restraint, respect and consideration into the fabric of this awareness. Civility is a form of goodness; it is gracious goodness.” Civility is the art of living well with others.

The second part of the book includes brief chapters on the rules of civility. In some cases, Forni prescribes some behavior, but in mostly this is an exploration of how awareness, respect and consideration of others can practiced in various ways.

I think a few of these worth highlighting. The first of Forni’s rules is to be attentive. Your attention is one of the most important and valuable things you can give to someone. Paying attention to others is the starting point of showing respect and acting in kindness.

Related to attention is listening. Careful listening is a skill. When practiced well, it can build understanding and rapport between people. It requires focus, generosity, responsiveness, restraint and cooperation.

I think Forni’s admonition to avoid complaining is especially worthy. We have legitimate concerns that we should speak up about, but often complaints are just a way to drag people into a negative outlook or some minor problem that is not theirs.

“’Nice’ is something that must be built, something that doesn’t simply happen or come to us out of the blue but instead requires work," P. M. Forni, Choosing Civility

P. M. Forni also wrote The Thinking Life.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen

The Power of Nice by Linda Kaplan Thaler & Robin Koval

The Last Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need by Paul Pearsall

The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck

Forni, P. M. Choosing Civility: The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 2002.

Faith by Jimmy Carter

President Jimmy Carter is well known for his Christian faith. Excepting a handful of famous pastors, Carter is one of the few Americans who is known as a Christian almost as much as he is known for other things; this is especially extraordinary for a former president.

Faith is the title and subject of his recent book. He addresses religious faith, but other types of faith are important to him as well.

For instance, each person need faith in himself to take action with hope to achieve positive results. We need faith in each other to live, work and trade together peaceably.

We even need some degree of faith in government. If we hope to achieve the ultimate purposes of government, justice, equality under the law and peace, we have to believe it can be done. Especially in a republic we need to believe we can achieve these goals through our institutions, laws and the people we elect to represent us.

“A country will have authority and influence because of moral factors, not its military strength; because it can be humble and not blatant and arrogant, because our peple and our country want to serve others and not dominate others. And a nation without morality will soon lose its influence around the world.”-Jimmy Carter, Faith (quoting a speech he presented in 1978)

There are also personal goals that require faith. Justice and equality may be the highest goals we can expect from government, but we want more. If we also hope for love, humility, generosity and kindness, we need another kind of faith.

For many, including Carter, this is religious faith. We find in religion reasons to believe that things like love are real and worthy of pursuing, even if we don’t always get it right.

For Christians, this faith is founded on the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ as the proof of God’s loving mercy and grace. It all starts with God, and we can hope to be better people through the empowerment of God and our grateful response to His love demonstrated in Jesus Christ. As Carter puts it, “It is not what we do for God that is important but what God does for us. Faith brings about good works, but doing good things does not result in faith."

For Carter, Jesus is worthy of consideration as an example of the ideal in human character. Being like Christ is being a better human being. As a Christian and Protestant, Carter believes he has a personal relationship with an ever-present Christ. The faith that underlies Carter’s career and achievements as a politician, philanthropist and peacemaker is that he does not walk alone, but he walks with a living Christ and with other believers who seek to follow Him and see His good will done in our time.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

Defining Noah Webster by K. Alan Snyder

The Faith of JFK edited by T. S. Settel

God and Ronald Reagan by Paul Kengor

Hebrews

The Language of God by Francis S. Collins

Carter, Jimmy. Faith: A Journey for All. New York: Simon & Schuster, 2018.

Leviticus

Leviticus. The Holy Bible. New King James Version. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1982. Leviticus continues the story of the Israelite nation from Genesis and Exodus. God took the Israelites out of oppression in Egypt, as describe in Exodus, and preparing them to be a nation when He leads them into a new land. Characteristics of the Israelite nation were to be its religion and its government. Leviticus deals with the religious and civil laws that were mostly administered by the Levites, a clan that God set aside for His service. In particular, Aaron and his descendents, part of the clan of Levi, were set aside for the priestly duties that involved the closest proximity to God. Much of Leviticus deals with the religious ceremonies the Israelites were to observe, especially the role and conduct of the priests in these ceremonies. The priests served as intermediaries between God and His people. The priests were set apart for God and were to be treated as holy, as was everything set apart for God. The people made various types of offerings as an acknowledgment of their sinfulness and their debt to God, who accepted their sacrifices to atone for their sins. The death and blood of animals substituted for the loss of life that was the consequence of sin. In Christianity, the understanding is that these sacrifices foreshadowed the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus Christ, which is sufficient for the sins of all people in all times. Further, Jesus fulfills the priestly role of intermediary and advocate before God-the-Father. Because Jesus is God, He and His Father are one, Christians enjoy a direct relationship with God. Some of the chapters of Leviticus deal with moral and civil laws. These laws involve property, farming and husbandry, marriage, self-care, foreigners, protection of life, and other matters. We see embodied in these laws a principle that is emphasized throughout the Bible. Kindness to others and generosity to the needy are prized behaviors. God called the Israelites to love their neighbors. They were to pay workers promptly and not charge excessive interest on loans, even leave food in their fields for the poor to collect. They were to make gifts and loans to the poor. They were to care for widow and orphans, especially their relatives. An extraordinary requirement was that Israelites were to treat law-abiding foreigners who dwelt among them with the same love, respect, and protection of law as natives. As we see in the preceding books, God is active in Leviticus. Moses is God’s prophet and Aaron is His priest, but God is the motivating force and active agent. Leviticus, like the rest of the Bible, doesn’t depict man reaching out to God; it shows God reaching out to man. If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in Genesis The Gospels Exodus

Pauline Letters

The apostle Paul wrote most of the New Testament.  His letters to the early churches mix doctrine, biography, advice, and personal messages.  Paul was Jewish and belonged to a sect of zealots called the Pharisees.  He was an up-and-comer with a prestigious education and leadership roles beyond what was typical for a man his age.  He prosecuted the early church, especially congregations of Jewish converts to Christianity.  He gave it all up, though, after having a vision in which he was confronted by Jesus Christ and he eventually became a missionary and apostle to the Gentiles, planting churches in Europe and Asia.

Several themes recur in Paul’s letters.  Some of these are: the Gospel and doctrinal purity, Christian living, and relationships.

The Gospel

Paul was a preacher of the Gospel.  He frequently reminded people to remember and stick to the Gospel he taught with directness and simplicity.  There were a lot of false teachers who taught alternatives, often to draw followers and enrich themselves.  In Paul’s teaching, everything depended on Christ and what He accomplished through His life, death and resurrection; nothing could be added or subtracted from it.

Of course, some tried to add or subtract.  Some of the teachings Paul opposed were Judaizers, Gnostics, and legalism.  Judaizers proposed that to be Christian, one must be Jewish first.  This included conversion to Judaism, including circumcision, and observance of the law of Moses.  According to the Gospel, everything needed was satisfied in Christ.  The Gnostics came from the tradition of mystery religions, taught “secrets” and proposed a Christ who was resurrected as a spirit.  Paul would have none of that either.  The Gospel was plain and all significant events of Christ’s life for our salvation were publicly known, including his physical resurrection.  Both of these groups touched to some degree on legalism.  People wanted to establish rules to live by, either to control people or to aggrandize themselves or to suggest people had a part in their own salvation.  Paul’s Gospel asserted that Christ is all, His sacrifice atoned for our sins and His power in us enables us to do good.

Christian Living

If Christianity wasn’t about following rules, how were we to live?  Could we do whatever we wanted?  Of course, it is silly to think that God would save us from our sins just so we could do whatever evil came to us.  It was equally naïve to think we could, on our own, live up to any rule that is truly pure and perfect.

Instead, a Christian life should be typified by love, humility, gratitude, and obedience to God.  We are to honor Christ our rescuer by imitating Him.  This isn’t to win his favor, but to return the love He showed us and express gratitude for the mercy we did not deserve.  Christ empowers us to live in a new way, knowing Him and doing good instead of sinning and becoming more estranged from God.

Relationships

One of the most important ways we can show our love for God and be Christ-like is in our relationships with others.  Paul wrote about all kinds of relationships: marriage, parent-child, employer-employee (in those days sometimes master-slave), and fellow in the church.  We should treat others with the love, kindness and generosity that Christ shows to us, especially in the church.

The Pauline Letters appear in most Bibles generally from longest to shortest: Romans, First Corinthians, Second Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, First Thessalonians, Second Thessalonians, First Timothy, Second Timothy, Titus, and Philemon.  First and Second Timothy, Titus and sometimes Philemon are called the Pastoral Letters because Timothy and Titus were young pastors.

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Esther

Esther is one of the most famous people from the Old Testament. The story of her life, as told in the Biblical book bearing her name, has been adapted to the stage and film. Joan Collins played her in Esther and the King (1960); Tiffany Dupont played her in One Night with the King (2006) based on the novel by Tommy Tenney. In 2013, Jen Lilley played the role in The Book of Esther.

It is easy to see why the book has captured the interest of storytellers in several media. It has court intrigues, romance, poetic justice, a beauty pageant, culture clashes, political and religious oppression, just to name a few elements a storyteller or reader of almost any persuasion might latch onto. You can bring many viewpoints to this book and carry many interpretations from it, though the book also provides its own interpretation.

Esther takes place during the reign of the Persian King Ahasuerus (generally identified as Xerxes I). He puts aside his wife, Queen Vashti, and his princes arrange an elaborate campaign to find a replacement. Esther is forcibly recruited into the competition. Esther is a Jewish woman, a ward of her relative Mordecai, who serves in Ahasuerus’ court. He secretly advises her, her humility and kindness win her favor in with the head caretaker of the harem, and her beauty wins the king. Meanwhile, Haman, a high official who has come to hate Mordecai, hatches a plan to destroy the Jewish people through the empire. Esther risks her life to appeal to the king and thwart Haman’s plan. This summary hardly does justice to the story, though even in the Bible the style is plain.

These events are the genesis of the Jewish festival of Purim. This is where the internal interpretation of the book comes in. Esther is celebrated for her courage to act. In addition to that, the hand of God, who is barely mentioned in the book, is seen throughout the events. He puts someone in place to rescue the Jewish captives from their enemies. He elevates Esther and Mordecai to give them protection while they are under the rule of foreigners. Though the people were threatened with genocide, God used the situation to preserve them and possibly even set up their eventual return to their homeland.

The historical books of the Bible are generally written in a plain, narrative style, though it occasionally records songs or other literary forms. Esther stands out in that it is almost novelistic. The conflict escalates to a climax followed by a brief denouement. This makes it a very engaging book.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

Deal with It! by Paula White

Second Kings

Esther. The Holy Bible. New King James Version. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 1982.

Positive Words, Powerful Results by Hal Urban

Educator Hal Urban reminds his readers of the power of words in Positive Words, Powerful Results. Words create pictures in our minds. They influence our buying decisions and health. One of the most important things about words is that we can chose how to use them, whether to build up or to tear down.

Urban encourages people to use words to build up. Use kind, affirming, complimentary words. Tell people what they are doing right. Express interest in people and ask them about themselves.

In addition to influencing others, words can reveal what is going on inside of us. Our choice of words reveals whether our thoughts and feelings are positive or negative. As Jesus put it, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings for that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings for that which is evil; for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks” (Luke 6:45).

If we want to produce positive words that help people, we need to be concerned about what goes into that treasure of our hearts. There is a lot of trash out there and if we don’t limit our exposure, we can easily become full of it. There is also plenty of good and we can seek it out. Just as we choose what we say, we can also choose much of what we hear.

Though it is couched in a discussion of the words we use, Urban is engaging a larger issue of how we treat each other. He encourages kindness, gentleness and generosity. These virtues may demand more than words, but they still demand expression in speech; they cannot be advanced by harshness and complaining.

Urban’s background as a teacher comes through both in the examples he draws on and the way he writes. The book is not written for children, but I think it is within the grasp of high school students and possibly younger children, particularly if an adult were going through the book with them.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen

The 4:8 Principle by Tommy Newberry

The Power of Nice by Linda Kaplan Thaler & Robin Koval

The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale

Urban, Hal. Positive Words, Powerful Results: Simple Ways to Honor, Affirm, and Celebrate Life. New York: Fireside, 2004.

New & Interesting Stuff April 14, 2013

Christians developed science because they believed it could be done, and should be done

Comic Book Nation by Bradford W. Wright

God’s will alone matters

Gratitude may be defined simply as showing that one values the kindness of God

Human beings are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others

In Congress

It will be the duty of earthly power to do justice

Mojo by Marshall Goldsmith

More of our English is ultimately learned from Tyndale than from and other writer

The natural heart is at enmity with God

New & Interesting Stuff March 14, 2013

Our constitution was made for a moral and religious people

Reason is from God

The rise of science was achieved by deeply religious Christian scholars

Smoking, a "custome lothsome to the eye"

The system of morality to be gathered from the writings of ancient sages falls very short of that delivered in the gospel

That we think of progress at all shows the extent of the influence of Christianity upon us

We in America have everything we need except the most important thing of all

We work best when as much of what we are doing can be delegated to the unconscious mind as possible

You possess the ability to awaken and start anew

A Politically Incorrect Guide to Western Civilization by Anthony Esolen

Esolen, Anthony. The Politically Incorrect Guide to Western Civilization. Washington, DC: Regnery, 2008.

Our civilization is on the verge of disintegration. However, by recovering the best of our historic culture, philosophy, religion and government, the wisdom of our ancestors, we can recover the great things we’ve lost and continue to enjoy the advancements they’ve made possible. That’s Anthony Esolen’s message in this book.

Esolen is unabashedly conservative and religious. He sees this as keeping with the best traditions of the West. He wants to build on the hard won lessons of history, not throw it out because a new age supposedly calls for new thought.

He does not romanticize the ancients. The Greeks who bequeathed to us logic and democracy practice some of the worst kind of rhetoric and abuse of power. The Romans who had some wisdom in affairs of family and state pervert patriarchy with misused authority and undermine industry with slavery. Even the Church, with its worldview that made the best of Western Civilization possible, could go astray. If anything is consistent through history, it’s that evil people do evil things and even people of good intentions can fall short of their ideals.

Our age has dispensed with ideals. Many of the historic revolutions that advanced human happiness were surprisingly conservative in that they carried with them the best traditions of the past. The revolution we’re experiencing discards tradition as irrelevant and dangerously ignores the lessons of even the recent past. Government takes the place of God, or takes on nearly god-like power, scientific management of society supplants individual kindness and community and convenience and convention take over for law and ethics.

In spite of the alarm he sounds, Esolen is optimistic. Western Civilization, especially the Christian West, is built on hope, a hope in One who is good and active in accomplishing good in the lives of men. He doesn’t say abandon the present, but neither abandon our past, especially not the One that gives meaning to the story of human history.

The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die by John Izzo

Psychologist John Izzo interviewed seniors who had a reputation for wisdom to find out what they knew about happiness. He describes the ideas he gleaned from these interviews in his book The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die (also a five-part television series that aired on PBS).

As the title suggests, Izzo doesn’t shy away from discussing death. He suggests it is important to remember that live is short and our choices define our lives. We all want joy, contentment, connection and purpose. We can learn from the example of people who have achieved such lives and have a more satisfying life as well.

First, follow your heart. You will not be happy if you try to be someone else. You can be more authentically yourself by living intentionally and examining your life to see if you are doing what matters to you.

Live without regrets. You can forgive yourself for the mistakes you make (if you try), but you’ll likely regret the important things you left undone. Encourage yourself to take worthy risks in life. If you love someone, put the work into fixing a broken relationship.

Love is incredibly important to a happy life. Make room for people in your life and practice loving them. Love is more than a feeling toward others; it is kindness and generosity.

Almost everywhere I look, I see books, articles and television segments on mindfulness. Izzo suggest that a kind of mindfulness—living in the moment—is practiced by happy people. Recognize that every day of life is a gift and we should enjoy it while it is here.

Finally, give. Giving is a way to connect to something larger than ourselves. It is a path to purpose, love, and joy.

Izzo isn’t simply concerned with giving advice; he wants to equip people to apply that advice. One of the ways he suggests this can be done is by paying attention to the way we want to live. Each chapter ends with a short list of questions that are collected in one of the later chapters. Izzo suggest reading and answering these questions in a weekly time of reflection. Often all we need to do to make the changes we want is to intend to do it and remind ourselves of that intention.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

The 4:8 Principle by Tommy Newberry

Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar

The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People by David Niven

Rapt by Winifred Gallagher

Think 4:8 by Tommy Newberry & Lyn Smith

Izzo, John. The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die. San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2008.

Eat That Cookie! by Liz Jazwiec

Jazwiec, Liz.  Eat That Cookie!  Gulf Breeze, FL: Fire Starter, 2009.

Liz Jazwiec is a former hospital emergency department director and current consultant and speaker.  In her book, Eat That Cookie!, she draws upon her experience in creating a positive workplace to show the benefits of positivity and how it can be created.

Jazwiec was a hardnosed nurse who didn’t have time for fluff.  Her job was hard.  Her hospital was in a rough and poor neighborhood.  Oh, and some people are just stupid.  She was skeptical of the positivity movement in her hospital and she only go on board because of the unsubtle threat of consequences if she didn’t.  Slapping on a smile and being nice to people wasn’t going to make things better.

Except it does.  Kindness, even if it is fake, makes people feel better.  Expressions of

gratitude grow goodwill.  Letting go of judgment also means letting go of a lot of frustration.  Fun and productivity can coexist, even thrive together.  Celebration is important; you need to recognize achievement if you want to keep getting it from people.

Each chapter touches on a subject related to positive workplaces and how it helps make workplaces more productive.  The book is full of examples, some from Jazwiec’s work as an emergency department director and some from clients or other hospitals.  The title come from the example of a hospital unit that instituted a weekly no negativity day, with smiley face cookies served to staff that day as a reminder.

Cookies may sound silly.  Sometimes the silliness is intentional.  It is a reminder, and remembering  and keeping people accountable is an important part of a positive workplace.  Positive workplaces are made and sustained through effort and consistent, reinforced behaviors.  Jazwiec is practical-minded in this regard.  Positive workplaces don’t just happen.

To that end, the book contains a lot of advice.  Leadership needs to provide accountability, fairness, and a focus on behavior.  Don’t overwhelm people with changes.  Institute three or four changes a year, and make sure you have a high level of compliance before introducing something new.

As a consultant to hospitals, Jazwiec focuses on them.  Almost any workplace could benefit from positivity in the same ways, though.  Her examples could easily be adapted to other organizations.

In fact, much of what Jazwiec writes about is simple.  As I often say, “If simple were easy, more things would be simple.”  A workplace won’t become more positive overnight just because you feed people smiley face cookies.  It takes time, clear expectations, accountability, consistency, and successive changes, especially if negativity is engrained.  Jazwiec’s little book may help you get started.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

One Small Step Can Change Your Life by Robert Maurer

Revved! by Harry Paul and Ross Reck

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