Psychologist
John Izzo
interviewed seniors who had a reputation for wisdom to
find out what they knew about happiness. He
describes the ideas he gleaned from these interviews in his book The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before
You Die (also a five-part television
series that aired on PBS).
As the title suggests, Izzo doesn’t shy away from discussing death. He suggests
it is important to remember that live is short and our choices define our
lives. We all want joy,
contentment,
connection
and purpose.
We can learn from the example of people who have achieved such lives and have a
more satisfying life as well.
First, follow your heart. You will not be happy if you try to be
someone else. You can be more authentically yourself by living intentionally
and examining your life to see if you are doing what matters to you.
Live without regrets. You can forgive yourself for the mistakes you
make (if you try), but you’ll likely regret the important things you left
undone. Encourage yourself to take worthy risks in life. If you love someone,
put the work into fixing a broken relationship.
Love is
incredibly important to a happy life. Make room for people in your life and
practice loving them. Love is more than a feeling toward others; it is kindness
and generosity.
Almost everywhere I look, I see books, articles and television segments
on mindfulness.
Izzo suggest that a kind of mindfulness—living in the moment—is practiced by
happy people. Recognize that every day of life is a gift and we should enjoy it
while it is here.
Finally, give. Giving is a way to connect to something larger than
ourselves. It is a path to purpose, love, and joy.
Izzo isn’t simply concerned with giving advice; he wants to equip
people to apply that advice. One of the ways he suggests this can be done is by
paying attention to the way we want to live. Each chapter ends with a short
list of questions that are collected in one of the later chapters. Izzo suggest
reading and answering these questions in a weekly time of reflection. Often all
we need to do to make the changes we want is to intend to do it and remind
ourselves of that intention.
If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in
Izzo, John. The Five Secrets You
Must Discover Before You Die. San Francisco:
Berrett-Koehler
Publishers, 2008.
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