What I Read (4)

Date: July 3, 2005
Title: Toxic Success
Author: Paul Pearsall
Thoughts: Pearsall advocates a life of contentment, calm and connection; sweet success as opposed to “normal” success. I have a dose of the toxic. I’d like to revisit this book sometime and see if and how my success sweetens.

Date: July 10, 2005
Title: The Five Love Languages
Author: Gary Chapman
Thoughts: I’d like to read this book again, review if my assessment of certain peoples’ love languages is correct and see how I’m doing at another time.

Date: July 30, 2005
Title: Into the Depths of God
Author: Calvin Miller
Thoughts: “The number one sin many Christians may need to confess is the sin of carrying guilt. When we carry guilt for confessed sin, we are saying that the cross was too small to cover our own sin” (quote from the book).

Date: August 7, 2005
Title: Girl, 15, Charming But Insane
Author: Sue Limb
Thoughts: I liked this book. Funny. Not too painful.

Date: August 13, 2005
Title: The Gospel of Mark (The Holy Bible, NKJV)
Thoughts: “And he looked around in a circle at those who sat about Him, and said ‘Here are My mother and My brothers! For whoever does the will of God is My brother and My sister and mother’” (Mark 3:34).

Date: August 19, 2005
Title: Steam: The Untold Story of America’s First Great Invention
Author: Andrea Sutcliffe
Thoughts: It seems to me that Fitch and Rumsey were within reach of their fortunes, and could have grasped them, if they had not been sidetracked by pursuing fame. I the fame would have come with the fortune.

Date: August 26, 2005
Title: The Feud that Sparked the Renaissance
Author: Paul Robert Walker
Thoughts: Another book of rivalry. A nicer story, though, because these men continued to master and improve their work in the midst of their rivalry. The new fame came more from excellent work than from grand claims, though they made grand claims, too.

Other parts of What I Read:
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Power in Praise by Merlin R. Carothers

Carothers, Merlin R. Power in Praise. Escondido, CA: Merlin R. Carothers, 1972.

I bought a copy of Power in Praise by Merlin R. Carothers at a library book sale. It sat on my shelf for months. I have more appetite for books than time. I was surprised to find it listed in bibliography of Melody Beattie’s last self-help book, Make Miracles in Forty Days. Because reviewing books is inherently about comparing and contrasting books, I made reading Power in Praise a priority.

At a very basic level, Beattie and Carothers have a similar message. Be grateful for everything. Carothers would say praise God in everything.

Our thanks and praise, especially for those things we for which we don’t necessarily feel grateful, brings about in us a peace, contentment, and new perspective on our situation. It often leads to a change in our circumstances, too.

The two authors differ on their view of how this works. For Beattie, it is a universal law. It works because that is the nature of the universe. You can blend it with whatever religion you like or none. Expressing thanks for the hard things will change your life regardless of your religion.

Carothers, in contrast, sees God as the author of our lives. He is in control of all. The hardships, pain, setbacks, and everything else in our life is under His control.

We can praise God even in the worst situations because we trust Him. God loves us and had a good plan for our life. If He permits difficulties, it is because it will produce good. First is the good of coming to God and acknowledging Jesus Christ as our savior. After that comes the producing of a godly character and preparation for work that shows God’s power, love and grace.



Power in Praise is, in part, a book of stories about people who have put Carothers’ principle to the test. Some of these come from the Bible, especially from Paul, who suffered all manner of calamities, but remained contented, peaceful, and even joyful, because He trusted God in all things. Many of the cases come form his experience as an Army chaplain.

As you might expect, people were reluctant to praise God for disease, accidents, failures and other troubles. Some were willing to try even if they didn’t feel it; Carothers writes that it is a matter of faith and not feeling or understanding. Those that tried discovered a transformation in themselves. For Carothers, this is the main thing. To know God and be closer to Him, trusting Him more, is the best thing. In many cases, these people saw quick changes in their circumstances, too.

Carothers also deals with the flipside of praise and thanksgiving with a chapter on grumbling and complaining. He says that to complain is to make accusations against God. It is an expression of distrust. Arguably, mankind’s fall into sin came from distrusting God and it has caused us a lot of trouble sense. The better stand, the position of power, is to trust God in everything, believing that He has a good plan even when bad things happen.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in
365 Thank Yous by John Kralik
Gratitude by Melody Beattie
Into the Depths of God by Calvin Miller
Make Miracles in Forty Days by Melody Beattie
Thanks! by Robert A. Emmons

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Reposition Yourself by T. D. Jakes

We’re not always where we want to be in life, but we can make it better if we’re willing to change. Megachurch pastor T. D. Jakes offers advice on making positive change in his book Reposition Yourself.

To make a change, you need to face the truth. For most of us, a hard truth is that we have a lot to do with our problems. We bring ourselves to an unhappy, unfulfilled state through our own apathy, lack of passion, settling for less than our best, passivity, poor money management and lukewarm relationship with God.

Another hard truth is that life is unfair. Bad stuff happens to all of us, and to some more than others. Success demands perseverance and flexibility.

People who successfully change take effective action. They are attentive to their situation and to themselves, developing a strong sense of their gifts and purpose. They are intentional, setting definite goals and putting themselves in environments and around people who support what they want to achieve. Thee have a plan, recognizing that it is inevitable that things will that they will face setbacks, but a delay in achieving their goals does not mean they will be denied success.

Humility is another key to successful change, though I don’t recall Jakes putting it so bluntly. Humility begins with recognition that we need God; we need the cleansing and power we can only receive through Jesus Christ. Our humility is grown through gratitude. In thanksgiving we appreciate what we have, learn contentment, and gain strength from our struggles. Humility also protects us from the pitfalls of success such as excessive self-reliance, neglect of important relationships or becoming coopted for the agendas of others.

Along the way to way, it is good to make some money. Money gives you options. Jakes offers some advice on managing money so you can make yours grow and have more freedom.

Jakes, T. D. Reposition Yourself: Living Life without Limits. New York: Atria, 2007.

The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die by John Izzo

Psychologist John Izzo interviewed seniors who had a reputation for wisdom to find out what they knew about happiness. He describes the ideas he gleaned from these interviews in his book The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die (also a five-part television series that aired on PBS).

As the title suggests, Izzo doesn’t shy away from discussing death. He suggests it is important to remember that live is short and our choices define our lives. We all want joy, contentment, connection and purpose. We can learn from the example of people who have achieved such lives and have a more satisfying life as well.

First, follow your heart. You will not be happy if you try to be someone else. You can be more authentically yourself by living intentionally and examining your life to see if you are doing what matters to you.

Live without regrets. You can forgive yourself for the mistakes you make (if you try), but you’ll likely regret the important things you left undone. Encourage yourself to take worthy risks in life. If you love someone, put the work into fixing a broken relationship.

Love is incredibly important to a happy life. Make room for people in your life and practice loving them. Love is more than a feeling toward others; it is kindness and generosity.

Almost everywhere I look, I see books, articles and television segments on mindfulness. Izzo suggest that a kind of mindfulness—living in the moment—is practiced by happy people. Recognize that every day of life is a gift and we should enjoy it while it is here.

Finally, give. Giving is a way to connect to something larger than ourselves. It is a path to purpose, love, and joy.

Izzo isn’t simply concerned with giving advice; he wants to equip people to apply that advice. One of the ways he suggests this can be done is by paying attention to the way we want to live. Each chapter ends with a short list of questions that are collected in one of the later chapters. Izzo suggest reading and answering these questions in a weekly time of reflection. Often all we need to do to make the changes we want is to intend to do it and remind ourselves of that intention.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

The 4:8 Principle by Tommy Newberry

Happier by Tal Ben-Shahar

The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People by David Niven

Rapt by Winifred Gallagher

Think 4:8 by Tommy Newberry & Lyn Smith

Izzo, John. The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die. San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2008.

The Velveteen Principles by Toni Raiten-D’Antonio

Raiten-D’Antonio, Toni.  The Velveteen Principles: A Guide to Becoming Real: Hidden Wisdom from a Children’s Classic.  Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communications, 2004.

In The Velveteen Principles, counselor Toni Raiten-D’Antonio draws lessons for living from the children’s book The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams.  Raiten-D’Antonio found the lessons from this book to be helpful for her clients in living as real people rather than seeing themselves as objects.

The Velveteen Rabbit (you can skip this paragraph if you’ve read it) is the story of a cheap, stuffed bunny that wants to be real.  The rabbit has a rough time, especially when faced with comparisons to fancier toys that erode its confidence.  He is encouraged along the way by a toy horse that had already been made “real” by the love of a child.  The rabbit becomes a boy’s companion through a severe illness, and though it is a trial, the rabbit’s courage and love for the boy carries him through.  The boy loves him back and considers him real.  Even so, adults throw the rabbit out because they think it is riddled with disease.  A fairy rectifies the situation by make the rabbit a real, flesh-and-blood bunny.

Raiten-D’Antonio sees a parallel in the lives of people, who are encouraged by our culture to see themselves as objects.  Objects have manufactured perfection.  They are valued for how they fit an ideal.  Objectified people hide there flaws, obsessively follow fads, lose their uniqueness, become disconnected from themselves and others, and miss out on living.  It is easy to fall prey to objectification because our culture values and rewards its.

In contrast, real people are imperfect.  Their imperfections make them unique.  Reality isn’t simply a matter of accepting imperfections; it is about being perfectly yourself, a person with value because you are a person, with strengths and weakness, relationships, and a place in the world.  Reality is challenging.

A dozen principles of being real are described in the book.  Some are about the process of becoming real and some relate to what a real life is like.

The value carries through most of the principles is empathy.  We start with empathy for ourselves, acknowledging and accepting ourselves as we are rather than trying to become a perfect object.  This self-empathy isn’t about giving up or pretending everything is okay.  It’s about setting aside the illusions of the object-world and giving ourselves the grace and space to begin where we are.

Self-empathy gives us room of empathy for others.  Just as we stop trying to make ourselves into perfect objects, we show the same grace to others.  Love, honesty and ethics spring from empathy.

Real living has its own dangers and pains.  The truth can be uncomfortable, especially the truth about us, and letting go of object-ideals can be hard. However, the rewards or real living are a kind of contentment, peace, and inner wealth that can’t be achieved by having or being an object.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

Self-Love by Robert H. Schuller

Wisdom from the Batcave by Cary A. Friedman

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