Keenan's Book Reviews: Search results for resolution

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Tuesday, March 5, 2013

This Year I Will... by M. J. Ryan

Many of us make New Year’s resolutions, but few of us keep them. There is less interest on the statistics of other goals, but it seems likely that resolutions are hard to keep whenever we make them. Self-help author and consultant M. J. Ryan would like to change that sorry state of affairs. Her book This Year I Will… has advice on how to turn goals into action and dreams into reality.

Ryan makes the important point that much of our behavior is habitual. We have repeated behaviors so many times that we unthinkingly return to them when we encounter the stimulus that triggers them. To complicate the matter, our behaviors fill a need or solve a problem. If they hadn’t they wouldn’t have become ingrained habits.

You don’t have to delve into you half-remembered childhood to change behavior, though. You just need to identify the underlying need or problem and find other means of dealing with them. Ideally, the new behaviors will also help you meet your goals instead of getting in the way.

I suppose I have made it sound easy. It is not, and Ryan does not promise quick fixes. In fact, she warns her readers they will face internal resistance to change. There are parts of brain, power emotional parts that exert a lot of control over us, that see change as a threat and will not easily leave the familiar path. Ryan offers advice on how to handle this, and even how to get our emotional brain to help us instead of hinder our change.

The book is organized into short chapters. Ryan suggests you can go directly to the parts you need and return to the other parts later, or when they seem more useful. Instead of being a book you read through once, she wants This Year I Will… to be a reference you can return to when you need fresh ideas or a refresher on techniques you’ve used before. Some of the subjects that stood out to me were

concentrate on “what” instead of “why,”
dealing with doubt,
taking action,
focusing on one or a few changes at a time,
taking one step at a time (though sometimes we need a big goal to motivate us),
track your progress (I’m a believer in this),
have a Plan B (and C, and D…),
tips for effective visualization,
performance review, and
remember to have fun.

There is more than that. The book is not a collection of unrelated mini-chapters. Though the book isn’t necessarily made to be read linearly, I found that later chapters tend to build on earlier ones. There is also a subtle shift from an almost wholly practical to a somewhat philosophical view. You’re not just doing a better job of setting and achieving goals. The goals you achieve and the habits you form shape and define your life.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in

One Small Step Can Change Your Life by Robert Maurer

Secrets You Keep from Yourself by Dan Neuharth

Succeed by Heidi Grant Halvorson

Ryan, M. J. This Year I Will…: How to Finally Change a Habit, Keep a Resolution, or Make a Dream Come True. New York: MJF, 2006.

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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

365 Thank Yous by John Kralik

Kralik, John. 365 Thank Yous: The Year a Simple Act of Gratitude Changed My Life. New York: Hyperion, 2010.

365 Thank Yous is, thankfully, not a collection of daily thank you notes. Author and jurist John Kralik set out to write 365 thanks in a year and tells the story of how it changed his life in this book.

Kralik's life was not what he wanted it to be. He had two divorces and another shaky relationship, was alienated from his children, disillusioned with his law career, a failing in his business. Everywhere he looked, he saw mounting problems. He was not grateful—he didn’t know how to spell the word—and he was no reason to be grateful.

A conversation with a friend and a remembrance of his grandfather inspired him to make a New Year’s resolution to write a daily thank you note for a year. It changed both his perspective and the conditions of his life.

I think the change of perspective may be most important. We all have problems and most of us find them to be obvious and easy to remember; we’re surrounded by reminders of our problems. It can be overwhelming. We also have things for which to be grateful, but we sometimes have to strain to think of them.

Kralik’s exercise forced him to look for things to be thankful about. In time, in spite of setback, it became easier for him to find and express gratitude.

I think this change in perspective lead to the changes in his life. He was able to see things to which he was previously blind. The vision of these new opportunities opened the door for new actions. Change in his behavior had new results in his family, business and career.

In fact, in the space of a little more than a year, Kralik went from having his dreams slip away to having almost all that he wanted. He had better relationships with his family, his business was recovering, and he received his dream appointment as a judge.

His life wasn’t perfect. He still had problems. His relationship with his girlfriend was improving, but not all he hoped it could be.

Kralik attributes his turnaround to the practice of finding what he is grateful for and expressing his thanks, especially in writing. I think this is right; his change in circumstances seems to be a result of the change in his viewpoint and behavior related to his practice of gratitude.

Gratitude opens our eyes to the good and valuable people, situations and things in our lives, even if we have to strain to see them. The more we look for them, the easier they become to find. As we get a new view on our lives, especially a more positive light, we can see pathways that aren’t clear when we’re focused on our problems.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in
The 4:8 Principle by Tommy Newberry
Gratitude by Melody Beattie
Thanks! by Robert A. Emmons
Why Good Things Happen to Good People by Stephen Post and Jill Neimark

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Paperboy by Henry Petroski

Petroski, Henry. Paperboy: Confessions of a Future Engineer. New York: Knopf, 2002.

Henry Petroski is an engineering professor who is well known for his books on engineering and technology. Paperboy is a memoir of his boyhood.

This memoir is a reflection of the times, the 1950s, as well as the author’s life. It shows a microcosm of a nation recovering from World War II and gearing up for the space race. The paperboys of New York weren’t interested in reading the newspapers they delivered, so they weren’t consciously aware of the social forces at work around them. (Even so, Petroski uses headlines from the Long Island Press to show what was going on at the time.) A boy with Petroski’s talents might have gone into any number of things, but with Sputnik overhead, government policy and watchful teachers nudged him into engineering. It was a good fit.

Petroski doesn’t leave technology completely out of the picture. As a paperboy, he had to master the art of folding and flipping papers. He assembled and maintained his own bicycle. He watched his orderly uncle, an accountant, put together exactly what he needed to build an attic closet with no waist.

Young Petroski had many traits that would have made engineering attractive to him: curiosity about how things work, mechanical aptitude, facility with mathematics, some perfectionism, more pragmatism, ability to think both concretely and abstractly, appreciate that things are made and making involves choosing. I have known and worked with many engineers in my career in that profession and nearly all of them share at least a few of these traits with Petroski.

A particular part of Petroski’s school experience stands out to me because it illustrates how real life is different from a story. His high school algebra teacher, Mr. Duncan, took an immediate dislike to him, apparently because it picked up on algebra so easily. Duncan began to call Petroski “Herman Peterson,” provoked him and sent him out into the hall. The budding engineer sat in the hall, following the lessons through the door, and remaining the leading student in the class. This hardship continued until Petroski advanced into upper-class math courses. A story probably would have had some satisfying resolution, but real life experience involved just moving on.

In one section of his memoir, Petroski discusses newspaper titles. It’s the kind of list-making thing many engineers are prone to do. The weekly paper in my hometown was the Bloomfield Vindicator. I have never heard a name for newspaper that was cooler than Vindicator. I’m reminded by it of those show that were popular in the 1980s about a nameless stranger who comes into town to bring justice to oppressors of the downtrodden like The Equalizer, Stingray, and The Pretender (which may have been from the 1990s). A syndicate combined the Vindicator with another publication and given it the unimaginative title of North Stoddard Countian.

If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in
Copernicus’ Secret by Jack Repcheck
Descarte’s Secret Notebook by Amir D. Aczel
The Invention of Air by Steven Johnson
Newton and the Counterfeiter by Thomas Levenson
The Science of Leonardo by Fritjof Capra