Psychologist
David Niven
draws lessons from scientific
studies on happiness
in The 100 Simple Secrets of Happy People.
The book has 100 short chapters. Each has a recommendation based on the results
of research. The book was published in 2000
and the research cited was published in the mid- to late-1990s.
As you might expect from such a structure, the book seems to go all
over the place. Even so, some themes and trends are readily discernable.
For instance, relationships
have a profound effect on happiness—more important than our material
possessions. If we have close relationships with friends
or family,
we are much more likely to feel good about ourselves. Supportiveness in
relationships is important to our happiness and it works both ways—giving and
receiving. Being a good friend is as important as having friends; follow
through on your commitments. Make peace with others; the pain of working
through the conflict is usually much less than the pain of losing a
relationship. Relationships are important at every age.
A sense of purpose
and goals are
also important to happiness. Volunteering is a good way to find a sense of
purpose; helping others can help us feel better. Goals should be
realistic—working toward and attaining goals feels good, but striving toward
goals you cannot reach causes dissatisfaction. Celebrate your achievements
along the way and remember them.
Your thoughts and outlook also affect your happiness. If you must
assume what is motivating someone’s action, assuming the best will lead to more
happiness. Don’t dwell on past problems or think of what might have been;
concentrate on what you can do now to step toward where you want to go.
Remember happy moments from your past to be happier today.
Related to that, be grateful
for what have. Having a lot does not contribute as much to happiness as
enjoying and appreciating what you have. By the way, watching television
can lead to discontentment by stirring up covetousness.
There is a lot of other advice in Niven’s book. If you pick it up,
you’re likely to find something that might help you be a little happier.
If you’re interested in this book, you may also be interested in
Niven, David. The 100 Simple
Secrets of Happy People: What Scientist Have Learned and How You Can Use It.
San
Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco,
2000.
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